


How to hold my heart

by bertie



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Buffalo Sabres, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-09
Updated: 2013-03-09
Packaged: 2017-12-04 17:25:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/713202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bertie/pseuds/bertie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some teammates give Nathan a hard time when they find out he's in love with Tyler, but Nathan is comforted in knowing Tyler loves him for much more than their time in bed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to hold my heart

**Author's Note:**

> loosely written for the prompt "Tyler Myers/Nathan Gerbe; Gerbe's first time with anyone. I just want to see the pairings try to make the height differences and inexperience work" on the Hockey Anon LJ.

A knock at his hotel room door made Tyler’s ears perk. He dried his face on the hand towel and stepped from the bathroom, opening the door. Nathan was standing there, but without the smile Tyler was so used to.

“What’s the matter?” Tyler asked as he stepped aside.

Nathan slipped into the room and stopped at the foot of Tyler’s bed, too small for his height as usual. He didn’t jump or even relax at the careful embrace from behind him. Tyler kissed the curve of Nathan’s neck, fingers spreading over his belly.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Tyler asked again, pressing a kiss to Nathan’s hair.

“Do you love me?” Nathan replied, nearly inaudible.

Tyler sighed, smoothing his hand over Nathan’s side as he straightened. “Of course I do, Nathan. Why do you ask?”

Nathan wouldn’t face him, head bent and shoulders tense. “Some of the guys figured it out and were giving me a hard time before I left to come here. They were telling me that you only keep me around for sex because you like how small I am or that you aren’t really serious about all this and as soon as you lose interest you’ll toss me aside and move on.”

Tyler moved away only to sit on the edge of his bed and pull Nathan in between his legs. Nathan’s face was flushed and eyes glossy with tears, fragile as if he would lose his fight any moment. It made Tyler’s heart constrict with unimaginable pain to see his lover so upset and hurt at the hands of his teammates.

“Baby, look at me,” he urged, cradling Nathan’s face in his hands and tilted it up. “I love you more than anything. You know that, and I apologize if I don’t tell you enough.”

Nathan bowed his head and couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. He tried to bring his hands up, push the tears away and hide, but Tyler caught them and held them, pressed kisses to his bruised knuckles and whispered to him, “Don’t let them bully you, Nathan. Only I can tell you what I feel, and you give me such happiness they will never understand. Come sit with me.”

Allowing Tyler to pull him onto the mattress with him, Nathan burrowed into the protection of his lover’s arms, tears staining Tyler’s t-shirt.

“Hush. Know that I love you and will never leave you. I give you my word, Nathan,” Tyler told him, stroking Nathan’s hair and back, holding him tight.

Miserable and conflicted, Nathan gripped the back of Tyler’s shirt in his fists and moaned into his shoulder. “I believe you, Tyler, I do. But—”

“But you still have doubts in your mind, I understand,” Tyler finished for him, smoothing Nathan’s hair when he sat back in his arms. Wiping tears from Nathan’s cheeks, Tyler kissed him on the forehead. “Let me show you how much I love you, Nathan.”

Nathan nodded almost eagerly, wiping his eyes, and even ventured a smile when Tyler kissed the corner of his mouth. He stripped off his jacket and shivered when warm hands slid underneath his t-shirt, holding onto his waist. Tyler inched the shirt up underneath Nathan’s arms and then higher, urging him to lift his arms. Once his shirt was tossed to the floor, Nathan reached for Tyler’s, who accommodated his request by raising his arms. Tyler elicited a tiny laugh and a grin from Nathan when he rolled them and trapped Nathan beneath him. They pulled off jeans and shorts and underwear and socks before Nathan was finally excited and reacting to Tyler’s teasing smiles.

“I love you for many things, Nathan, and one of them is your height. You fit so perfectly against me and in my arms I can’t help but just adore you. But I’m in this for the long run, if you are too. I can’t imagine living without you,” Tyler said, soft and promising and breathtakingly slow for Nathan to soak up each syllable.

“Thank you,” Nathan gasped, pulling Tyler in for a bruising kiss.

Tyler’s long fingers teased Nathan until he was writhing and moaning and gasping for breath around Tyler’s name. He just smiled and kissed Nathan, spreading him further and delighting in the broken sound he made.

“Do you want to be on top or bottom?” Tyler asked, kissing the shell of Nathan’s ear.

Nathan whimpered as Tyler eased his fingers from him, a sweet little sound that went straight to Tyler’s groin.

“Top,” he answered, rolling to his side. “It’s been a while.”

Tyler kissed his back as he lay down beside him, momentarily curling around Nathan to encompass his entire frame. “Up you go, then.”

Nathan rose to his knees and allowed Tyler to scoot into the center of the bed. He climbed to sit astride Tyler’s hips, wide and strong compared to his own. Tyler stroked broad hands up and down Nathan’s thighs, cooing at him in a way that made Nathan flush up to his ears and down to his collarbone. Nathan was careful as he eased down onto Tyler, making quiet little noises as he adjusted and relaxed. Tyler murmured to him and soothed him, massaging Nathan’s hips and thighs as he settled.

“You’re so gorgeous, Nathan, I can’t take my eyes off of you. I can’t believe I was so lucky that you picked me,” Tyler babbled, fingers pressing into the sinewy muscle of Nathan’s thighs rhythmically to relax his lover.

Nathan flushed a dusty pink across his cheeks, and Tyler grinned up at him. He brought his legs up behind Nathan, bracing his feet on the bed, and rubbed gentle circles into Nathan’s hips.

“Take your time.” He watched Nathan let out the breath he had been holding, muscles loosening and his grip on Tyler’s shoulders easing up. “Are you alright, baby?”

Nathan nodded quickly. “Yeah, I’m good. Can you…sit up, please?”

Tyler sat up, abdominal muscles rippling as he did so and mesmerizing Nathan. He cradled Nathan close, kissing him and whispering to him sweet nothings that made him smile and kiss him back. Nathan wrapped his arms around Tyler’s shoulders, making a soft noise when Tyler lifted him as he shifted to his knees.

“There,” Tyler sighed, kissing Nathan’s cheek. “How’s that feel?”

“Great,” Nathan moaned breathlessly, gripping Tyler’s shoulders tight.

Tyler hummed, rolling his hips carefully against Nathan’s. With Nathan’s appreciatively moan, Tyler thrust a little harder and mouthed at his neck. Nathan wriggled in his hold momentarily before he settled and whimpered eagerly in Tyler’s ear.

“Come on, Tyler,” Nathan urged, his breath catching as soon as Tyler gave one hard thrust.

Their bodies moved together as if they were made for one another, and Nathan was calling out Tyler’s name quickly. He made quiet little noises in between his cries, pleading and babbling to Tyler.

“Can I lay you down, baby?” Tyler asked, smoothing Nathan’s hair as he continued to rock his hips.

Nathan nodded quickly. “Yes, yes.”

Tyler held tight to Nathan as he leaned forward and let him rest on the bed. “Easy, now.”

Nathan arched and wrapped his legs around Tyler’s hips, pulling him down for a kiss. “Come on,” he repeated.

With more leverage, Tyler could move freely and enjoyed the sight of Nathan below him. Nathan panted heavily, sharp gasping breaths that were accented with tiny moans that made Tyler’s rhythm stutter. It was very sudden that Nathan’s back arched and he cried out, spilling onto his belly. Tyler kissed him, enjoying the little jumps of his oversensitive muscles, and stroked his hair.

Nathan’s cheeks flushed when he looked up at Tyler and he covered his face. “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Tyler said, massaging Nathan’s hips gently.

Nathan sighed heavily and reached up, tangling fingers in Tyler’s messy hair. “How do you want me?”

Tyler smirked and covered Nathan’s body with his own, propped on his elbows. “Just like you are.”

The soft noises Nathan made as Tyler rolled his hips against Nathan’s made Tyler whimper and shiver with strained arousal. He moved quicker until he was shaking, and Nathan was crooning to him, sweet nothings that made him lose his breath.

“Come on, babe,” Nathan urged, flexing his hips and pushing Tyler over the edge.

The blissful look on Tyler’s face, eyes closed and mouth agape and nose scrunched so preciously, made Nathan feel content and adored. Tyler pressed kisses to Nathan’s face, eyes and lips and cheeks and forehead, until Nathan was giggling. They climbed out of bed to shower, and Nathan muffled a delighted noise when Tyler hauled him up into his arms. They kissed against the cool tile wall but exhaustion kept them from going any further. Tyler wrapped Nathan in a towel, kissing him again and again until Nathan was melting into his arms, kissing back with lazy excitement. Reluctant to part, they dressed for bed and Nathan crawled in with Tyler with no desire to go back to his room to a cold bed.

“How are you feeling?” Tyler asked, running long fingers through Nathan’s damp hair.

Blinking slow and sleepy, Nathan yawned with his head pillowed on Tyler’s arm. “Better. Thank you.”

Tyler smiled. “You don’t have to thank me.”

Nathan just gave him a little grin and cuddled up against Tyler’s chest. Tyler kissed him on the forehead, nuzzling against his face until they settled enough to sleep.

The next day the team said nothing when Tyler allowed Nathan to board the plane first or when he whispered sweetly to him on the flight home. They exchanged glances but didn’t dare confront their largest player for fear of getting the treatment an opposing player got weeks ago for checking Nathan into the boards. He was lucky to come away with a broken nose. If Tyler held Nathan’s hand and let him sleep on his shoulder, then the team never mentioned it. Nathan was all smiles again, and Tyler was just happy to see his lover comfortable again.


End file.
